“To hurt is as human as to breathe.” ― J.K. Rowling, The Tales of Beedle the Bard

I have an adopted child with FASD who has gone downhill in recent years to the point of us losing hope.

If you know what Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder is, than you know what I’m feeling right now. You know why I chose the Rowling quote and the song below.

I love my child with every fibre of my being

My heart is broken.

I no longer know how to help my child. There’s so much to their story that I wouldn’t know where to start nor would I want it aired for everyone. The nuances and complexities of the familial arrangements surrounding us all both add and reduce the turmoil.

I’m exhausted beyond.

Melissa Etheridge – Breathe

Never Not Knitting

“Oh, there you are, Albus,’ he said. ‘You’ve been a very long time. Upset stomach?’
‘No, I was merely reading the Muggle magazines,’ said Dumbledore. ‘I do love knitting patterns.”
J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

Honestly – if my hands would allow it, I would knit constant. DAMN YOU CARPEL TUNNEL!!!

I knit up the most adorable little book for my tapestry needles the past weekend. The pattern is from Raveler Carole R (aka Mewsli) and is called Emily’s Needle Book

I seriously love this little thing and the metal Horde Button makes my gamer heart happy!

It’s the simple things in life that can at times bring the most happiness. Now to block that book and make it’s shape more uniform.


Side note – knitting is also awesome for the mental health. It is a wonderful form of meditation.

I found the song below on YouTube but Googled it to make sure I gave credit where credit is due (no singer/writer was listed). As per the blog it came from, Never Not Knitting blogspot (which is now Never Not Knitting), I added the names that were listed.

Never Not Knitting Theme Song performed by Hunter, lyrics by Alana Dakos

Baby It’s Cold Outside

“One can never have enough socks,” said Dumbledore. “Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.” J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone


*whew* I got that out of my system…LOL not.

I think having a toddler has revived my seasonal spirit. I remember when I was young; ok, not really that long ago; I was a holiday fanatic. Even when my teens were little, I could barely sleep Christmas Eve because I couldn’t wait to see the looks on their faces!

I went through a spell for a while where Christmas lost all magic. I still tried my best for my babies, but being a single working mom sapped me. I got really sick (yay MS…). My energy was non-existent, and I was financially terrified. How would I make things magic for them? How would I keep my house? How would I heat it?! How would I get us food!?

Every year without fail something amazing happened and we never went without. By whatever master stroke of luck or providence or what have you, my kids and I always managed to have just what we needed (yes, needed, not wanted) right when we needed it. One year we were blessed with support that I have tried to repay every year by sponsoring a family in need or donating.

This year, my eldest is 16 going on 17. My next child is 15. My baby is 2 soon to be 3 (in January). The elder two get completely into the season helping to make it magic for their younger brother and it pays off in spades. I love it.

We may not be rich. We may not be able to get everything they want, when they want. But we are rich in our lives for what we do have – we have each other, we have a home, we have magic in our lives whether we see it or not.

I wouldn’t change it for anything…ok, a bit extra money for bills would be nice (who am I kidding? Everyone could use extra!).

Time for some cocoa and Christmas magic.

Zoey Deschanel & Leon Redbone – Baby It’s Cold Outside (From the “Elf” soundtrack)

It’s a good time to be Canadian

“If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau. All I can say is – wow. I read off the list of cabinet ministers with my mother yesterday. I almost felt like crying. What an extremely wonderful group of people you have chosen to help run our nation. Completely gender equal (BOOYAH!), extremely educated in life, work, and schooling.

It’s bizarre to me how such politics can affect my outlook on my life. I feel positive – positive that positive changes are coming.

Just – WOW.

Survivor – Eye of the Tiger

Just Breathe

“To hurt is as human as to breathe.” ― J.K. Rowling, The Tales of Beedle the Bard

*Deep breath in*

*Deep breath out*

I have debated posting this, I may take it down…here it goes.

The week is only half way over, yet I feel like it has been months long.

My daughter was assaulted off of school grounds. A girl at her school started a rumour about her. This falsehood spread and a girl decided to act on it. She punched my daughter in the head a few times. My daughter is so brave – she didn’t fight back. Instead, she immediately reported it. The police are involved.

The shitty part – the girl is moving and the police are not able to give her the punishment that is called for. To make it worst, some of the rumour mongers actually filmed it. I haven’t been able to find it. The vice principals, the teachers, even the police involved all know that the rumour is completely false and made up to harm my daughter.

Teenagers can be assholes. These ones don’t care if it really is real or not. All they care about is that one person said she heard or read it – that’s all it took for these kids to turn on my daughter.

The girl who attacked her used to be a friend, supposedly.

My daughter has told me to drop it. She is calm, collected, and just doesn’t want to have anything to do with them.

I am her mom. I was bullied. I was told to suck it up.

Yes, my daughter can be sarcastic and lippy…but she has never said anything that deserved this. Hell, even if she DID say something, she still didn’t deserve this.

I really hate kids sometimes (not mine, but in general).

Anna Nalick – Just Breathe (Lyrics)