I forgot my meds

“A demonic reaper asked to be my valentine and then killed his crazy ex-girlfriend to save my life. Tomorrow I was starting up antipsychotic meds.” ― Courtney Allison Moulton, Wings of the Wicked

So…I have ADD and MS…and anxiety…and…and…

I chronically feel tired to exhausted while not being able to focus on a single thing and worrying that something, somewhere (involving me or not) is going wrong and IT’S ALL MY FAULT.

Most days, I am O.K.(ish). I take my medications that help me focus, stay awake, and not panic.

The kids were so off this morning. I totally fell out of routine.

UGH. Stupid routines. On missed step and the meds get forgotten.

Today is a weird day…I’m zoned out, sort of functional, and itchy (allergies to dust and no antihistamine in me = awesome dermographic itchy skin).

I’d almost think I was stoned except that the only drug I have had is caffeine and not nearly as much as I normally do since my stomach is saying a big fuck you to me…fun times.

Hours of Pain – Jump Around

In for a Penny, In for a Pound

“if you take care of the pennies, the pounds will take care of themselves.” ― Jeffrey Archer, Mightier than the Sword

I’ve talked before about wanting to lose weight. How desperate I am to shed the pounds and be healthy. It’s funny how in the race to gain health, I have gained seven prescription drugs, one over the counter drug, and six types of supplements.

That’s 14 different types of medications and vitamins that have a possibility of reacting with each other.

Take that in.

FOURTEEN.

What are they all for? Advair, singulair, salbutamol, nasonex, and reactine (the only OTC) for asthma and allergies. Citalopram for anxiety (LOL it’s not working). Modafinil in the morning to help me stay awake and focused…Zoplicone at night to get me to sleep. Yay MS and allergies and asthma…and ADHD.

To help my cognition I also take Nutrasea Omega 3 with 1000 UI of vitamin D, then I take 5000 UI of pill form vitamin D, a multivitamin, acidophilus, adrenna sense (for my adrenal glands), and powder form greens.

This list isn’t counting the Advil and Tylenol I take for pain. The Melatonin for nights I can’t sleep even with the zoplicone.

At 41 I feel like the most unhealthy person I know…and my dad is 76 with COPD.

It’s funny how putting it all out there really kind of knocks some perspective into it. What can I stop taking? What is interacting with what? What do I really need to take versus what is just a bandaid? How the hell am I supposed to be active and cognitively functional with all this shit in my body!?

I’m no doctor, but I can say – I have had enough. My goal over the next year is not just to lose weight, it’s to get off of all the meds I possibly can. Stop saying I can’t, and start saying I CAN. I’m old enough to know when I am doing nothing but making excuses.

Time to clean house and get moving.

Britney Spears – Work Bitch