Under Pressure

“Nobody works better under pressure. They just work faster.” Brian Tracy

Tis the season to feel pressure(d)
Fa la la la la la la la la
Shop for now, pay for it later
Fa la la la la la la la la
Don we now our face for family
Fa la la la la la la la la
Wrap the presents, stuff the turkey
Fa la la la la la la la la

Hope the kids don’t peek this year
Fa la la la la la la la la
Please let the baby sleep in later
Fa la la la la la la la la
Tip toe around to make everything ready
Fa la la la la la la la la
Wake up early and watch the waste pile
Fa la la la la la la la la

See the smiles and feel contentment
Fa la la la la la la la la
Fill your heart with love, not resentment
Fa la la la la la la la la
It’s not about receiving, all about giving
Fa la la la la la la la la
Take your time, enjoy the holiday
Fa la la la la la la la la

I’m really excited about this Christmas, and not. I’ve had everything ready for weeks (save the wrapping). I’m even ahead on certain birthdays for next year.

The only part that is missing – my two older teens. They are at their dad’s this year until Boxing Day, so our Christmas day will happen when they come home. The youngest won’t know the difference – he’ll just have a blast tearing through paper and hiding in boxes (he LOVES playing with boxes). But my eldest was worried about missing out, so I reassured her that we are adults, we can wait a day for them to come home and have Christmas.

Please parents who are divorced – please remember that this holiday, that this time of year is NOT about the adults.

Please remember to make it about your children.

Please put aside your animosity for the other parent.

Please remember not to say negative things about the other parent (whether they are a good or bad person, doesn’t matter). Be positive – your kids will remember that.

Please remember that you are making a memory for your child/children.

Please remember that it is NOT a competition. It doesn’t matter if you spend $10 or $1,000. Your children just want to enjoy their time with you, have fun, and see everyone happy.

It sucks so bad having to trade off years. It sucks just as bad for the other parent. No one wants to miss watching their kids open presents first things Christmas morning (unless you don’t celebrate Christmas – but the same goes for any faith celebration – Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, etc. Children watch us, they see us react, they can read us like there is no tomorrow.

Please make sure they see you are happy for them.

Please don’t make them feel guilty for wanting to be with the other parent.

Please don’t belittle them for loving the other parent.

They did NOT choose who their parents are. Like it or not – that other parent is in their lives (and partially yours) forever.

Yes, there are exceptions – someone who is abusive, who has supervised visits, who has no visits – however, saying negative things to the kids or in front of them does not help  them, it only makes them feel worse.

Wow – I did not see this  post coming. Initially, I just wanted it to be a fun goofy post about the holidays…funny what comes out sometimes when I start to write. I never plan it, it just happens.

Queen ft. David Bowie – Under Pressure

History repeats

“The children now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise.” Socrates

ummm….Socrates lived about 2500 years ago (469  – 399 BCE), and yet this exact phrase could be said about children today.

It strikes me crazy that in 2500 years we still think of kids the same. In a way, this floors me. I can’t imagine what the great philosopher would think of the younger generation now. Well, the younger North American culture that is. Addicted to electronics, constantly attached to a phone, sitting inside gaming on gorgeous summer days.

It’s insane.

A re-connection with nature is sorely needed. I’ve read this as fact in several places. It’s time to implement it – whether they like it or not.

Another thing too – I was talking to a friend today and she was saying how guilty she felt for being hard on her oldest child and we both agreed that parents now for some reason feel a need to be their child’s friend. I am my child’s parent, not friend.

I am my children’s parent, not friend. I am in charge of loving them and teaching them. I am in charge of caring for them and clothing them, helping them grow, and helping them to become adults eventually. I have to teach them responsibility, respect, honour and trust. I am my children’s parent, not friend. I can be an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on, a heart to love – but that is because I am MORE than a friend, I am a parent.

DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince – Parents Just Don’t Understand

I am not a mistake

Yes, you guessed it…I am still sick. So is my little man. The prednisone seems to be trying to work, but it also seems like my sinuses have begun a revolution of their own. It makes it hard to sleep…or function. At least I’m almost all caught up at work! That’s a great thing.

“You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved. But you won’t discover this until you are willing to stop banging your head against the wall of shaming and caging and fearing yourself. (p. 84)” Geneen Roth, Women, Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything  (Source: Goodreads).

This quote struck me. It’s really something I need to remember. My kids love me. My husband loves me for who I am and nothing else. I am so fortunately. Maybe my health isn’t the best, but I have a roof over my head, food in fridge and cupboards, my kids are healthy. We are together and we are whole. That is so much more than many of the world has.

I need to remember to be grateful for what I do have. Grateful for everything around me. Grateful for where I live, and grateful for those who do love me for me.

Today I am most grateful for my parents who are not as young as they were. They are watching our youngest today who is too sick to go to daycare. My parents live next door to me. I would not trade that for the world. My children have had a retreat in times that they needed it in the form of their grandparents home. I could never pay them back for all that they have done for us.